Blog, Life Lived Be*YOU*tifully

How To Find Your Tribe

Whether you call it your tribe, your girl squad, your BFFs, your girl gang or whatever else, we all want to find good people to spend our time with. Finding your tribe as an adult doesn’t always seem easy because you aren’t in a class or in a dorm where everyone is obviously seeking new friends. You may have moved to a new town, your friends moved away or you focused on your career for awhile and find yourself looking for new friends. How do you find your tribe?

Here are 10 ways that I’ve found mine:

  1. Stop telling people you don’t have friends – First of all, if you tell people you don’t have friends, STOP. Immediately! This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have had so many people tell me they don’t have friends. If you don’t have friends, why are you talking to me? Am I not a friend? Sorry, end rant. But seriously, I can understand wanting more friends, so say that instead. It is ok to let people know that you’re in search of more friends because then people will be more likely to invite you to more events and introduce you to people. But you have to appreciate the few that you have so that they will want to be around you and introduce you to their other friends.
  2. Join a sports team – If you like sports at all this is a great way to get connected. In my town we have a sports and social club with different sports like kickball, flag football, volleyball and more. Being on a team that also encourages going out for a drink together afterwards is a great way to meet new people. It’s actually how I got to meet my boyfriend, but that’s a story for another time. I also enjoy running and there’s lots of running clubs and training programs that you can do to meet new people. So pick a sport that you enjoy or want to try. It’s a great way to get in some exercise and make some active friends!
  3. Go to the gym – If you like to workout (or need to workout) then the gym is a great way to meet people. It may take a little more effort because people aren’t always there to make friends, but why not? If you keep running into someone that seems friendly, strike up a conversation and they could at least be your gym buddy (which also helps accountability, yay!).
  4. Take a class – If sports and exercise aren’t your thing, take a class in something that does interest you. Check out your local community college and see if they offer any courses in something that you’ve always wanted to try or something you’d like to improve your skills in, whether it’s painting, writing, gardening, etc. This is a great way to learn a skill and bond with others that have your same interests. You can also take classes at craft or building supply stores like Michael’s and find creative people to engage with.
  5. Use meetup.com – This is one of my favorite sites to recommend to people, especially if they’re new in town. If you’re not familiar with meetup.com it’s a site where people have started groups based on hobbies they like, networking, or whatever else interests you. It’s a perfect way to really get connected with a group of like minded people.
  6. Volunteer – Volunteering is a great way to help others and get involved in your community. You can volunteer in an area that interests you and find other do-gooders along the way. If you’re not sure about how to find volunteer opportunities in your town, check out United Way, this is a great start in finding organizations to get involved with.
  7. Go to church – I love the people that I’ve met through my church. When I first went to church, I was curious about God, but not a full believer, but the people at my church welcomed me and many have become friends. If you’re religious and not connected to a local church than test a few out and meet some people that share similar views to you. And if you’re not religious, but curious or open to learning more then experiencing different churches can really be a mind opener. And if you find that church is not for you, at least you’ve opened up some doors to new friends.
  8. Hang out with coworkers – Start talking to your coworkers more and see what they like to do outside of work, it might surprise you. You may find that you all have similar interests and really get along. Or they may connect you with other people that you enjoy spending time with. And if your job isn’t your favorite thing, your coworkers can definitely make the workday more bearable!
  9. Get a part time job or start a business – If you don’t have a lot of friends, you probably have some time on your hands, why not get a part time job or start a home business? You’ll be making some extra money and have a chance to meet new people. I work a few part time jobs and have really enjoyed them because of the people that I get to interact with. They make the job fun and I’ve made some new friends. I also have my own business and love, love, love people that I’ve met through it! I get to spend time every week with positive, uplifting people and I also get to build relationships with my customers that have become friends. There are so many at home businesses that you’re bound to find one that you enjoy and can run with.
  10. Turn strangers into friends – Go to a coffee shop or a bar by yourself and be nice to the staff and the people around you. Strike up a conversation and see if they bite. This definitely takes some guts because these days people don’t seem to want to engage with others too much, but if you actually speak to another human being, you find out that they are usually nice and will speak back. This could be the beginning of a new friendship.

All of these things on this list have helped me to find my tribe. These are just merely suggestions and you don’t have to incorporate all of them, just the ones that appeal to you the most. And, remember, the most important thing to finding your tribe is to be yourself. If you truly want to find your friend group that’s always there for you, you have to be yourself so that you can be fully present and build quality relationships.

Have any of these ways helped you find your tribe? Which ones will you implement?

Good luck finding your tribe, I’d love to hear about it!

Be you. Be*YOU*tiful.

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